Every time I look at my phone I see Claude Bissell’s quote “Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible” as my screen saver. It’s not like I have chosen to make this my motto in life but I was actually born this way. I can’t help it and some may say that this is my best quality while others say I need to be more cautious and protect my heart. I let people in, I trust them, I open my heart to perfect strangers because they might just be the perfect person for me. I get lost in the moment, I decide to be all in or all out, I expect the best out of every person I let into my heart. Now, from recent experiences it becomes apparent that most people do not fulfill the high expectations and that they don’t deserve my trust. So here I am, questioning myself: Should I be more careful? What does that even mean? How does a person earn my trust? How long do I have to examine people to decide if they’re worth it or not? Is being so careful that I can’t get hurt better than trying to fly and subsequently falling down?
The answer is: I don’t know how to build up walls around my heart, I only have my soul to guide me through life, to stir me away from or towards certain people. I look at it this way: every time I let someone into my heart, it’s like exercise for it. No matter what happens, my heart will always get stronger from it, it will grow and mature. It’s getting ready for the person who actually knows how to treat it and who’s there to stay to treasure and nurture it. I won’t risk less, I won’t care less, I won’t dream less and I won’t expect less. I will stay true to myself and I will get hurt over and over again. Pain is an organic part of life and I will take it as an opportunity to grow every time I feel it. And when it’s all said and done, it’s always kind of a funny story. Laugh at me or laugh with me but laugh.